Chuck vs The Next Chapter
by jwr96a
Summary: This is my version of what might happen next in Chuck's life. Picks up a few hours after the season 3 finale.


All the standard disclaimers. I don't own Chuck. All mistakes are my own.

It was late when Chuck pulled the Herder back into his Echo Park apartment complex parking lot. He stood outside the door of the apartment he called home. He wasn't ready to walk in yet. Morgan, his bearded best friend, was probably asleep. But Sarah, the best thing that'd ever happened to him, would be lying in his bed, wide awake and waiting for him. Waiting for a conversation he really needed to be ready for. It had to go a certain way, there was no question about that, and that meant he needed to think it through carefully.

When Chuck had left the small party of gathered friends and family a handful of hours earlier that evening, he'd made an excuse about needing some time alone to work through the sudden and tragic loss of his father. Sarah had shot him a quick look of concern, but with a light kiss on his cheek, she'd silently agreed to give him the space he'd said he needed. He'd known that she would. Ellie, Devon, John, Alex, and Morgan had been too involved in their own conversations to take much notice that Chuck was slipping out for a little while. Ellie, his over-protective big sister, had pulled herself away from the group for just a second, hugged him and whispered, "I know it hurts, little brother, but don't take too long. It's not good for you to be alone too much at a time like this."

Nodding in agreement, Chuck had walked out of the door, through the courtyard outside, and jumped into his compact red and white company car. No one knew – no one else could have known – that he was following direct instructions left by his father, Stephen Bartowski…instructions given to Chuck alone in his room just minutes earlier in the form of a kind of farewell video message. Chuck had already known that Stephen had also been Orion, a shadowy figure in the CIA-NSA spy world, but he still had no idea of what that really meant, aside from Orion being the primary creator of the Intersect, the super-computer that still resided in Chuck's over-worked brain…the top-secret, explosive reason his life had gone from normal to anything but normal in the blink of an eye. Stephen's last message to Chuck had revealed the mind-bending revelation that all those years he'd been missing, all those years he'd left Ellie and Chuck alone to fend for themselves, he'd been fighting a war. A secret, totally "off-grid" war against countless covert agents and organizations. By assuming the identity of Orion, Stephen Bartowski had been doing everything in his power to protect the world from people who wanted to gain control of nearly everyone and everything…people who were more than willing to destroy anyone and anything that happened to get in their way. Stephen had been convinced that the only way he could keep the dangers of this underground war away from his family, was to stay as far away from the people he loved as possible. Maybe there had been a different way, a better way, a way he could've been the hero Orion and at the same time Stephen, a good father and friend, but all that was the past now.

Chuck hadn't been too sure he fully understood what all of this meant, and there'd been a part of him, a weary and tired part of him, that just wanted all the covert intelligence crap to go away. He'd been more than a little tempted to just ignore his father's words when he had first watched the video, but then, Stephen, or Orion, or whoever the hell he'd really been…Chuck's mysterious, now deceased dad…said something right at the end of his farewell video that Chuck simply could not ignore. "I did it all for her…"

Her. The mother that Chuck thought he'd lost ages ago. Even if Orion's words didn't mean that she was still alive, or even if she was alive and didn't want anything to do with him and Ellie, Chuck felt hope rise in his heart, a dream he thought had died inside him a long, long time ago.

These were the complex and confusing thoughts that'd been bouncing around in Chuck's mind as he'd driven the half hour trip from his apartment over to his childhood home. He and Ellie had no idea that their Dad had held onto it all these years. When he'd stepped out of the car, he'd felt all kinds of different emotions…fear, homesickness, excitement, dread, and maybe more than anything else, curiosity. What was waiting for him inside that house?

He had to find out. He needed to know. When he'd walked over to the light switch in front of the white stone fireplace in the living room and switched it on and off in the precise pattern his dad had carefully explained to him in the video, he'd watched in wonder as the fireplace silently and smoothly separate and pull back to reveal a hidden staircase. And when he'd started walking down into the cavernous underground structure, when he'd suddenly seen the countless shelves containing research, new technology, and who knows what else, he'd realized, in that moment, that this was what he'd always been meant to do. He was meant to carry on his father's secret mission, to struggle in the shadows against the powers of evil in the world, not as an agent of the government, not as a pawn who had to follow orders whether they made sense to him or not, but on his own. On his own terms, for his own reasons, using his own methods. If he could do all that, if he could still fight for the greater good, if he could still protect his friends and his family, and if he could search for his mother at the same time, Chuck knew that his life would finally be what he wanted it to be.

He would've never, ever wanted this kind of life before Bryce sent him the email, before he met and fell in love with Sarah, before he chose to download the Intersect 2.0. But now, instead of only being able to see the sacrifice and the danger, Chuck could see the possibilities. And the possibilities were worth it. Stephen may have died, but Orion wasn't gone. Orion was going to live on in Chuck. He'd come to that life-altering decision before he'd even walked back out of the "basement of mysteries" and got back in the car. The more he'd thought about it as he drove back to the apartment, the more he'd started to feel like it wasn't really a decision anyway; it was his destiny. All he could do was accept it or deny it. Run towards it, or walk away from it. And the fact of the matter was that the man he'd become over the course of the past three years just wouldn't let him walk away. He couldn't deny the chance to carry on his father's life-long legacy. He couldn't deny the chance to see the face of his mother one more time. He just couldn't.

That was the truth…there was no question about it…but the problem was that if he accepted that truth, he knew he was going to have to start living a lie. Again. And that single thought was more than powerful enough to cause Chuck to stand, paralyzed by fear, staring at the front door to his apartment. Sighing heavily, he shook his head and turned away to sit down on the edge of the fountain in the center of the courtyard. Morgan and Sarah, Ellie and Devon, and Casey and Alex, all of them were surrounding him, just a few feet away in their own apartments. How could this be happening right now? Why now? In the precise moment when everyone in his life he loved and cared about finally knew who he really was, and what he was really capable of, he was about to have to start lying to them again, he was going to have to start hiding a part of who he was from them. There was no way that Ellie would allow him to take up their father's crusade. No way. It'd matter to her that there was a chance of finding their mother, but it wouldn't matter enough. She'd asked him to walk away from the spy life, and he had agreed. He'd agreed, and there was no way he could tell her that he'd changed his mind in the course of a couple days. He couldn't fail his father, and he couldn't openly break his promise to his sister. His only option was to hide the truth from her.

But Ellie wasn't the only person Chuck was going to need to hide this from. Sarah couldn't know either. As far as she was concerned, he'd just resigned from the CIA, he'd closed the book on his career as a spy. She seemed a little reluctant to agree with him that it was the right thing to do at first, but the more she'd thought about it, the more she'd warmed up to the idea of Chuck no longer continually putting himself in harm's way. "You'll finally be safe, Chuck. Safe. No more dangerous missions where I have to wonder if it's the last time I'm going to see you alive. I can't tell you how much I like the sound of that." She'd said those words to him just minutes before the dinner party earlier that night. And then she'd kissed him with a passion and intensity that he wouldn't be forgetting anytime soon. Chuck reached up to touch his lips for just a second, feeling the ghost of the memory. He couldn't, he wouldn't steal that sense of relief away from Sarah. She had already worried about him, his safety, his sanity, more than enough to last a lifetime. It was going to be hard to sell it – just about the hardest thing he'd ever done in his life – but he had to find a way to walk through that door and convince her that he really was ready to go back to a normal life. If he could get through this next conversation with her, if he could convince her that a lie was the truth, he had a chance of pulling off the miracle his dad never could: he was going to be Orion and a good boyfriend, brother, and friend at the same time. No running away and abandoning anyone. Never.

He was still thinking through exactly what to say to her, exactly how to lie to her, when the door to the apartment opened. "Chuck?" She was standing in the doorway. Her blonde hair rested softly around her shoulders; her deep blue eyes were full of light. She was wearing one of his old grey Stanford t-shirts and black shorts. She'd never looked more beautiful. As he glanced up, she smiled at him. It was a small, cautious smile, full of vulnerability and trust. It broke his heart.

"Chuck…are you okay? You've been gone longer than I thought you'd be. I was about to call your cell, but then I saw you sitting out here all by yourself. Come in. I want to talk with you about all this…your dad; you quitting the spy life after you've worked so hard. Come in. Please." Her voice was quiet and gentle, almost hesitant. She reached out for him. He stood up, walked over to her, and put his arms around her. He really wanted to kiss her, and she'd obviously hoped he would, but he wasn't sure he could look her in the eyes. Not just then. She'd see right through him. She leaned into him, pressing her head into his chest, nestling against his neck, just below his chin. If only they could stay like this forever. He kissed her lightly on the top of her head. Touched her hair for a fleeting moment. Then he stepped away from her, closed the door, and walked over to the couch. When he sat down, he reached out for her hand. She joined him on the couch.

He took a deep breath. _Here we go. _"Sarah, I just, I just want you to know how much you mean to me. If I didn't have you in my life right now, I don't know what I'd do. I think I'd be going crazy. It's so infuriating that just when my dad and I were finally back in one another's lives, I lost him because Shaw killed him."

Sarah flinched. She looked at the ground and shook her head. She hated to hear Shaw's name on Chuck's lips. She hated how it made her feel. Hated that she'd ever been close to the man who'd violently taken Chuck's father away from him. Away from her. Stephen had always been kind to her, and more than that, she loved watching him with Chuck. There was a special place in Chuck's heart that she only got to see when he was with his dad.

Blinking back tears, she raised her eyes from the floor and turned to look into his warm brown eyes. With her voice trembling she quietly said, "Chuck, I…I can't say anything to make it better. I wish I could tell you that your dad wasn't really dead, that he was going to walk through that door, safe and sound. But he's not. He's just not. All I can do is promise you that I won't ever leave you. I won't ever go away and not come back." She knew she shouldn't make promises she couldn't keep, but it was all she could think to say. It was all that she could offer him. She would always do her very best to be there him, always fight her hardest to come home to him, but someone could steal her life away from her just as easily as Stephen's life was stolen from him. Someone could make it impossible for her to come back to Chuck. But she had to let him know what she wanted to give him, even if she wasn't the only one who got a say in how things turned out.

Chuck responded by making an impossible promise of his own. "I know, Sarah, I know. And I'm never going anywhere either. I'll be here for you no matter what. I love you. I love you so much." He kissed her gently on the lips.

She took his hand and put it in her lap. "Chuck…are you absolutely sure that stepping away from being a spy is what you want? I know we've talked about it over and over again, I mean, sometimes it feels like it's all we talk about, but I want you to know that I'll support you if you decide you need to ask Ellie to reconsider your promise to her. She did kind of ask you at an unfair time in an unfair way."

He hadn't seen that coming. Sarah was offering him a chance to come clean with her, to tell her the truth about what he'd found hidden beneath his childhood home. To tell her the truth about who he was about to become. Who he'd already decided he had to become.

Chuck almost told her everything, right then. Almost. But he didn't want her to worry herself sick anymore. Really. Sure, it was true that Sarah would still be concerned that someone might somehow find him and hurt him, but now that Fulcrum and the Ring were destroyed, now that she was living with him, now that he was no longer a government agent, he could sense that she was beginning to relax and enjoy life in a way that seemed to be new to her. It was definitely new to her since he'd known her. That sense of her personal peace mattered to him more than he could measure. And just as importantly, Chuck didn't want his personal crusade to add any additional danger to her already too-dangerous life. He was just as scared of something happening to her as she was scared of something happening to him. They hadn't talked about her plans for the future yet, but he had a hard time imagining her being able to walk away from the CIA as quickly as he had. He'd only been with them for a few years. It was pretty much all she'd ever known for her adult life. Maybe she would quit someday. But not today. Not now. He didn't want her to be an agent and at the same time get caught up in the middle of anything dangerous he might be a part of as Orion. The most selfless thing he could do was lie. It didn't feel right, but it felt true. He knew there was a chance he might live to regret it, but he was going to see this uncomfortable, dishonest conversation through. Maybe there was a way to say it without lying anymore than he absolutely had to.

She was thoughtfully searching his eyes, trying to find an answer. Blinking to break her stare and then clearing his throat, he responded, "No, look I…I know how tense everything was when Ellie asked me to promise to not be an agent anymore, I know, but she meant it from the bottom of her heart, and I meant it when I agreed to leave the CIA. I'm done taking orders. I'm done doing things I don't fully understand for reasons I'll never be told. I don't want to save the world anymore, Sarah. I just want to be with you, loving you, helping you while you save it." _There. That wasn't all a lie. Just some of it._

"What are you saying, Chuck?"

"I'm saying that you should go ahead and keep on working with the CIA. I'm saying that since Casey has been reinstated with the NSA, maybe you guys could…I don't know…keep working together on national intelligence security issues from here. You two are the best, I'm sure Beckman would still want you if you're willing. I'll just find a new job in the next few weeks, something that I actually like to do. Something normal and safe and hopefully a little fun too." _Okay, so maybe most of that last part was a lie, but it was for her own good. Right?_

Sarah felt the tears starting to come. She couldn't believe how much she loved Chuck Bartowski in that moment. _Her Chuck_. He was always fighting so hard to find a way to help her, to make her happy, even if it meant he might have to suffer. Being left behind while she and Casey ran off to carry out missions without him couldn't have been something Chuck really wanted. But he obviously wanted it for her; because he'd correctly guessed that not being a spy scared her more than she would ever admit to anyone, even herself. With the Intersect project now closing, Beckman would love to find out that she could count on Sarah and Casey to work on new covert operations. _But is this what I really want_? As scared as leaving the CIA made Sarah feel, losing Chuck scared her much more. More than she could ever say.

"Chuck, are you sure that you'll be happy with me staying in while you're out? I won't do it if it's gonna make you feel left out, left behind. I won't do that to you. I won't do it to us." She thought she saw a flicker of doubt in his eyes, but then it was gone. He smiled. It seemed genuine. It looked real.

He reached out and hugged her, holding her close. "No, look, really, this is gonna work. We'll make it work. We will. I promise. We can do anything, as long as we're doing it together, right Sarah?" _Here it was…the moment of truth. Had she bought it? Did she believe what I just said to her? _

"Right, Chuck." As she held him, as she felt his heart beat softly against hers, Sarah knew there were so many unanswered questions bouncing around in her head, but it was almost 2am, and they'd had a really long day. And there was still one thing she longed for, one more thing she needed from him, before they fell asleep in each other's arms. Placing her lips close to his ear, she whispered to him, "In fact, I can think of something we can do together…right now in your bedroom…something I've been looking forward to all evening. I want to show you how much I missed you while you were gone."

Without a word, Chuck picked her up and started to carry her down the hallway, her arms still wrapped tightly around his neck.

She looked up into his eyes. Whispered his name.

He kissed her. She kissed him back.

He opened the door to their bedroom and lowered her gently onto the bed.

She was home.


End file.
